Funny Warrior Conversations
by AngelOfDarkness352
Summary: Halarious conversations between the beloved warrior cats that will have you begging for more! Two tails up!
1. Prologue

Prologue

A/N- Yes, I did delete the previous story and I'm replacing it with this one. I can't wait to see what ya'll think of it. This takes place after Sunrise, I guess. It's short, just the introduction.

00000000

One day Firestar decided to take a brisk walk into the forest for a little bit of exercise. All was well in Thunderclan, and it was a bright and beautiful morning. When he reached the lake, he spotted an object far off in the distance. Walking towards it, he wondered the heck could it be. He sniffed it, and cautiously prodded it with his paw.

The object sputtered and made a terrible noise. Firestar thought of running away, but curiosity got the best of him. As it coughed and wheezed, a bright light suddenly burst out. All of his instincts told Firestar to run, but his paws wouldn't take him anywhere. The bright light got so big that it blinded him, and he could see no more.

But instead he got a glimpse of another world, far away from all the seriousness of the warrior world, and into a place where worries were forgotten, and comedy sets in.

00000

A/N- Well, there it is. If there are any questions, please PM me or write it in the review. Oh but make sure to sign the review so I can respond. Thank you.

~Angel~


	2. Firestar Talks To Brambleclaw

A/N- If ya'll have any requests let me know!

0000000000

Firestar talks to Brambleclaw

000000000000

Firestar is in the clearing, dancing randomly to the song "Kiss me thru tha phone" by Soulja boy, trying to prove to Cloudtail that he is too gangsta.

Cloudtail- I iz telling ya man, ya cant jus be gangsta like that, ya gotta hav tha skillz.

Firestar- But, uh, homie, I haz tha skillz.

Cloudtail- *shakes his head * No, ya don't, its jus sad. *walks away

Firestar- Sobness.

Brambleclaw walks up to Firestar.

Brambleclaw- Hey don't be sad, maybe you just weren't meant to be, uh, gangsta.

Firestar- Yeah, but being Thunderclan's leader is too hard, serious, and boring.

Brambleclaw- I could take over.

Firestar- No, you're too fat.

Tears start to form in the deputy's eyes.

Brambleclaw- I-I'm fat?

Firestar- You now what, I've been meaning to say this for a LONG time, but you are so freakin obese it's not even funny anymore. Okay, well yes, it is funny. Especially when you hunt, 'cuz even the prey laughs their ass off.

Brambleclaw- :0

Firestar- YES! It feels so good getting that off my chest! Oh, and its called WEIGHT WACHTERS!

Brambleclaw- *runs away crying

00000000000

Later that Day

Firestar- Hey has anyone seen Brambleclaw? I need him for a blowjob- I mean patrol. Yeah. Patrol. That's right.

Graystripe- Yeah. He went to join some Weight watchers club thing, he said. Sounded pretty upset, too. Maybe you should go talk to him.

Firestar- Damn. When you actually need him for something…. *starts mumbling

Brambleclaw walks normally into the camp.

Brambleclaw- Hey guys.

Firestar- YAY! You're here! I need to talk to you…alone. *he says seductively

Brambleclaw- Oh. Tehe. Ready for some fun?

Cats stare confusedly at him.

Brambleclaw- I mean, yes, yes I will come with you. To your den. Alone. With you. Alone. In your den. With you, only you.

Cats are starting to get suspicious, so they hurry to Firestar's PRIVATE den.

Firestar- As you leader, ha, I would like to know where you have been.

Brambleclaw- I went and signed up for weight watchers. Guess what? They are having a sale, and I got TWO WEEKS FREE! All I have to do is eat the food that they are going to HAND DELIVER every morning and I'll lose weight fast!

Firestar- hmm. What kind of food will you be eating?

Brambleclaw- Uhh, I'm not sure. Guess I'll find out tomorrow!

Firestar- Perhaps.

0000000000

Next morning

Icekit- FIRESTAR!

Firestar and Brambleclaw were, uh, in his den, very tired after, uh, doing STUFF last night.

Firestar- *drowsy * what?

Icekit- Hurry outside! There is this weird looking THING inside our camp!

Firestar smoothed out his ruffled hair, sprayed some AXE, put on deodorant, and then headed outside.

Firestar- Oh. My. Goth.

There was this really strange brown-haired Twoleg looking thing, with a really retarded face that made the thing look like it was constipated. You could clearly see its ass, and it looked like a two-leg ass. Oh how Firestar got turned on by that!

Firestar's Thoughts- Oh mother **** look at that nice ass! ****! Maybe I could reach out and squeeze it without anyone noticing.

And that is exactly what he did.

The thing howled and flew back, waking up Brambleclaw in the process.

Brambleclaw- Guys, don't! It's the delivery guy for weight watchers! He said he was a monkey or whatever! He's here to deliver today's meal!

HE? Firestar just squeezed a dude's ass?

Well, that's a first, he thought.

The "monkey" handed Brambleclaw a package and stole a glare at Firestar, before walking away.

Brambleclaw pulled out one of three things from the package. One for every meal of the day.

He opened the box and inside it contained a bunch of:

TUNA?

The smell of it drugged the clan cats. They began to whirl around camp, the smell so delicious making some of them pass out.

Brambleclaw licked his lips and went into Firestar's den to eat it alone. Several cats tried to follow him, but he shoved them back. They started to drool, and it disgusted him.

He savored every bite. When he was done, he walked outside to find all the cats waiting anxiously outside of the den, with wide eyes.

For the fun of it, Brambleclaw threw the empty box into the air and watched it as it landed on Brightheart. Cats started to jump everywhere, trying to get to the tuna-smelling box. Poor Brightheart, she got trampled, and Leafpool had to fight off most of the cats to get off of her. They snarled and fought for the box. It was a very entertaining sight for him.

This went on for most of the day. But when it was time for the second part of the meal, Brambleclaw opened it up to see what I was. It was catnip!

Wait! Catnip? You can't eat catnip!

So Brambleclaw looked at the instructions, which were telling him to insert the catnip through his ass.

That a fun task for Firestar to do!

0000000000

A/N- Haha hoped you liked it. Any suggestions?


End file.
